Perceived Wrongs

In class this past week, we discussed the Lamanites and how they felt anger at the Nephites because of a "perceived wrong" that Laman and Lemuel felt 400 years ago by the Nephites. This "perceived wrong" lead the descendants to first feel wroth and that festered to become hate for the Nephites. This issue is applicable for us today.

Often, we can misinterpret an action made by another and become offended. Sometimes the action is so little, but it still created a rift in your feelings towards the other person. The other person might not even know that they did anything wrong and therefore don't feel a need to apologize. The "wronged" person, if they don't decide to discuss their grievances or let it go, can build up to wroth and then hate. This hate can be spread to others by gossip and creates an even bigger problem. Soon, the "perceived wrong" can turn into something terrible and hard to fix. If the "wronged" person had chosen to fix the issue in the beginning, then the relationship could be repaired and no harm could be done. This reminds me also of Luke 17:1-4 in which Christ teaches to not take offense, it says:

 “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you,[a] rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you,[b]saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”

This message is important. It is better to first not take offense, but even if we do - we must always forgive. When ever I have bad feelings against another, I try to instantly say to myself "not forgiving someone is like taking a vial of poison and expecting the other person to die". It is not worth it to hold a grudge because it will do more damage to yourself than it does for the other person. It is important to remember that not only is it good for yourself to forgive, but also you have been commanded to do so by Jesus Christ. An example of how not forgiving can be damaging is the Lamanites, who because of their harbored feelings that they were not able to get over, they ended up creating so much bloodshed and heart ache. If they had simply chosen to forgive, they could have been happier and avoided all of the damage they did to themselves. 

The "perceived wrong" idea also reminds me of positive psychology, in which you think about the positive first in every situation. This can be explained in the idea that if someone replies to you text saying "K.", and you probably have had this happen before, instead of immediately thinking "they hate me" or "they don't care about this conversation" or many other things, the first thing you can think of is "they are in a hurry" or "they will probably reply more when they have more time". Even if the first two ideas are true, it doesn't matter. Just the fact that you are choosing to think positively will make a huge difference in your life. If you just immediately went with the first thought of them "hating you", you would create a "perceived wrong" and harbor unnecessary feelings of negativity. This is not the way to go, and is something that could easily be avoided. 

Basically, it is important to always get the whole story and even if you can't, there is no harm in choosing the brighter side. It is always better to avoid those "perceived wrongs", even if someone does actually wrong you, it is always better to forgive even if they do not apologize. Removing that negativity is so freeing and I know from personal experience. 

Thanks for reading!